Fears.
I need your grace to remind me
To find my own... - Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"
(Click the link and read the lyrics. Better yet, purchase the song on your iTunes.)
As you may have figured out by now, I really love my job and everyone I work with. It's an amazing place to work and I can't see myself giving it up any time soon. Not to mention the fact that it just keeps getting better...
So Beth, a shift manager at the 'Bucks, and I are making way for a weekly "music night" every Thursday starting in September and who did Beth suggest be our first spotlight artist?
Me.
And I'm wrecked over it. Because I haven't written anything significant on my own since I moved here and I'm only confident in approximately four or five songs, only providing about 25 to 30 minutes worth of actual quality listening. And even still, I'm extremely hesitant because even though no one else has heard these songs, I've been playing them for nearly three years, which makes them very old.
So I'm pushing myself to dive head first into that creative part of myself that seemed to thrive so much more in Seattle. Why it terrifies me, I'm not quite sure. Probably because I'm not sure what I'm capable of anymore. But I guess we'll find out on the 7th of next month, because that's when I play. (Eek.)
I think I know what I have to do, but it's such a scary thing to think about...
I have to go there. I have to step into the cold, eerie darkness. I have to dig and I have to look very closely. I need to seek out all the memories and reconnect to that pain and then...
I'll have to write. And no one can blame me for what comes out, so please, be kind. And if you're in the area on the 7th, don't judge too harshly. Because it's been a while since I've been creative in this way. So if whatever you hear seems a bit amateurish, consider where it's coming from. Because every song I've written before now has never come from a state of such brokenness. All those songs about love and loss before? It was all what I had imagined it would be like if it happened to me. Now, whatever I write... It's the real thing. And that's the most frightening part of all.
To find my own... - Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"
(Click the link and read the lyrics. Better yet, purchase the song on your iTunes.)
As you may have figured out by now, I really love my job and everyone I work with. It's an amazing place to work and I can't see myself giving it up any time soon. Not to mention the fact that it just keeps getting better...
So Beth, a shift manager at the 'Bucks, and I are making way for a weekly "music night" every Thursday starting in September and who did Beth suggest be our first spotlight artist?
Me.
And I'm wrecked over it. Because I haven't written anything significant on my own since I moved here and I'm only confident in approximately four or five songs, only providing about 25 to 30 minutes worth of actual quality listening. And even still, I'm extremely hesitant because even though no one else has heard these songs, I've been playing them for nearly three years, which makes them very old.
So I'm pushing myself to dive head first into that creative part of myself that seemed to thrive so much more in Seattle. Why it terrifies me, I'm not quite sure. Probably because I'm not sure what I'm capable of anymore. But I guess we'll find out on the 7th of next month, because that's when I play. (Eek.)
I think I know what I have to do, but it's such a scary thing to think about...
I have to go there. I have to step into the cold, eerie darkness. I have to dig and I have to look very closely. I need to seek out all the memories and reconnect to that pain and then...
I'll have to write. And no one can blame me for what comes out, so please, be kind. And if you're in the area on the 7th, don't judge too harshly. Because it's been a while since I've been creative in this way. So if whatever you hear seems a bit amateurish, consider where it's coming from. Because every song I've written before now has never come from a state of such brokenness. All those songs about love and loss before? It was all what I had imagined it would be like if it happened to me. Now, whatever I write... It's the real thing. And that's the most frightening part of all.
posted by carlybish at 11:04 PM
2 Comments:
I know that you will do fine. even though you have to write new stuff and it may at some point be painful to write about some things but I think that when it comes down to it you will be awesome. you a creative and talented person. I know that you can do it...
Although to you some of the songs that you sing are old. To the people you will be playing them to, it will be their first time hearing them. I don't think any of your songs are amateurish. you will do great. I know it!
Hey! I'm so excited for you!
You and I both know that "Seeker" is an awesome song... I listen to it all the time on the way to work.
And as for new material, yeah, it's scary to write about that you actually have been through. But that's the best music out there. Writing music about something in your heart is much more appealing to me - I'm definitely tired of what I call "cookie-cutter" songs..... just different variations of the same old thing. Hence why I never listen to radio anymore.
You have an ear for fresh notes and now the experiences to blend in. Go for it girl! See what happens!
Love you always and good luck!
Aims
Post a Comment
<< Home