A Totally Random Rant.

I'm in a serious writing mood. Can't tell you where it's coming from. Why is it always at night that I feel most creative and ready to get things down? Not even necessarily creative, but simply ready to write things out, think, and possibly expand on those thoughts.

Whatever. I don't know what it is. Doesn't really matter. So here goes.

Firstly, I miss Ryan Wiedmaier (pictured above, New Year's 2004). I mean, don't get me wrong. I miss all my dearest friends. I don't get the chance to talk to Leah nearly enough and my Stephanie has been in Spain for the last five months, so I can't talk to her either. But I don't get to interact with Ryan hardly at all except for a few comments left here and there via blogs and MySpaces. He's married to a wonderful girl now and pursuing a life in ministry and he's super busy and I have no idea what's going on with all that, but I know he's doing great. I just miss the guy! Lately, I've been thinking about certain memories of him, including one that had us venturing to Alki to take over a fire in a barrel on the beach and stay up the rest of the night to eventually go to IHop (my first time there) to eat pancakes and finally back to his parents' place where I crashed for a while and then woke up to my parents' calling my phone because I was in trouble for staying out all night... Man, that was great! So, so, so great! Not the part about getting in trouble with my parents, but all the rest was just so fun! He is just, such a wonderful friend. And I miss him a lot. A whole lot. I know he'll read this and I don't care. He should know.

Ryan, I miss you a lot! You are amazing and I love you.

Okay. Nextly. I'm really looking forward to next month. I just want April to be over and done with and get on with May. School will be over around the start of next month and then summer will be just around the corner and I am so ready for summer. Even though it's going to be blistering hot, I've experienced a Tennessee summer before and honestly, it wasn't that terrible. Yeah, it's hot, humid, sticky and kind of gross, but I'm going to be having fun, swimming, sunbathing, and roadtripping. So the heat is going to be completely worth it. I never knew how badly I could want a month to be finished with... I mean, I'm being patient. Really, I am. I'm taking everything in stride and pursuing the things I need to be pursuing, like God's guidance and wisdom. Because those are things I need and desire right now. But I'm still allowed to look forward to when it's May. May is a good month. My old dog's birthday was in May. It was May 3rd. And "Yogi" was the best dog on the planet. Ever. So I'm looking forward to celebrating his birthday. Yes, I will celebrate it. I'm telling you, that's how amazing this dog was. Ask anyone.

And you know what else is in May?? That Imogen Heap concert I mentioned a week or so ago. Yeah! See?! I'm telling you, May is going to be great!

Okay, and lastly (although I may elaborate on this more later), I'm going to end on a mellow, almost meloncholy note... I wanted to mention the fact that I feel bad for the people who've had to get to know me here in Tennessee. Because, while I may live here, work here, and go to school here, I'm not actually from here. And everyone who I've come to know here has only been able to know the Carly in Tennessee, who I'm sorry to say, is insecure about her surroundings and about herself compared to the Carly from Seattle. I'm genuinely sad that the friends I've gained here in Tennessee have such a brief history with me. I wish they knew me so much better. If only I could transport my beautiful friends from here to the time and place of my beautiful friends from CRU and have all of them inter-mingle and get to know one another and maybe compare "Carly-stories", and see that they would all get along so famously! In all honesty, I feel like my friends here in Tennessee are getting jipped. I wish I knew how to act the same way here as I do when I'm in Seattle. If I could, I'd snap my fingers and I would take both Carlys and mesh them together into one and all would be well. But I really don't know how to make myself do that... Otherwise, I would!

Man... I'd bet every dollar in my savings that if my Tennessee friends could see how I am when I'm in Seattle, they'd all say to themselves, "So that's where you've been hiding!" and they'd enjoy my company that much more.

I bet they'd call me more, too.

Currently listening to:

We Are Scientists
With Love and Squalor